


This is not my body

by Fati_Lightwood



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, It's weird but enjoy, Multi, They curse with food words, i don't know what is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 10:53:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13029519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fati_Lightwood/pseuds/Fati_Lightwood
Summary: It was a normal day and like in a normal day Jace and Alec were fighting about some stupid thing. Magnus and Izzy were tired of seeing that.This is weird because it was written for a Freaky Friday Contest on Wattpad were you have to make them to curse with names of food. Enjoy. I don't know what's this.





	1. Stop fighting

"Why are you the way that you are?" asked Alec.

"Because it's an incredible way to be" said Jace, nonchalantly.

"No, it's not. You're a parabatapickle."

"Oh, come on. It was just a mistake. Forgive me."

"By the Tomato. Just a mistake? That's like calling the Uprising a slight disagreement."

"Now you are being ridiculous."

"I'm not being ridiculous, I'm just saying facts. You are the worst parabatai ever."

"Dude, you know you love me."

"Not right now, genius."

"It's just food."

"That was the only good meal in the Institute. And Magnus is on his way."

"I was hungry. It really wasn't any other option."

"You could just have eat the food Izzy cooked."

"No way in cheese's sanctuary."

"See? And you just came and ate all the food for Magnus and me."

"I told you...I was hungry. Don't worry, I'm gonna buy you some fancy meal"

"But the spaghetti you ate was made with love"

"Like Izzy's food."

"Why are you yelling? What's going on in here?" Izzy asked while she entered in the room.

Jace and Alec looked at each other.

"Nothing." both of them said.

"I heard something about my food."

"Are you sure you are my age? Because I think you're not hearing well." said Jace.

"Totally sure. Something about my food tastes like trash." Izzy said.

"Well, we didn't say that." Alec said.

"We didn't say anything." Jace said, crossing his arms. Then, they heard steps in the floor that were getting closer.

"Well, Maryse let me in. That was weird but seeing you fighting...I think I can handle that." Magnus said.

"Magnus!" Alec trhew his arms to his boyfriend and hugged him.

"What's going on, sweet pea?"

"Magnus!" Alec scolded him while Jace and Izzy were grinning.

"Jace ate the food I cooked you."

"Oh, I get it." Magnus said and turned to see Izzy.

"Can I talk to you?" He asked her.

"Sure." she answered smiling.

"You see what you have done?" Alec asked to Jace when the other two have left the room.

"What?"

"He didn't even kissed me."

"I'm pretty sure it wasn't for me. Maybe you smell bad."

In the other room Magnus told Izzy that he thought that if Jace saw how was Alec's life and viceversa, they would stop fighting for foolishness.

"How do you plan to do that?"

"With these." Magnus held two little bottles with green liquid.

"At least I'm not afraid of ducks." Alec said while looking superior.

"For jam's sake, you're afraid of spiders. They're little."

"Don't even get me started. Ducks are adorables."

"They are bloodthirsty little beasts."

"What you say is foolish. Now you are going to say you know how to read."

"I know how to read!" Jace shouted

"Are you sure this is going to work?" Isabelle asked as she kept hearing Jace and Alec yelling.

"It'll better work. But still, I'm disgusting to myself for doing this to Alec."

"Alexander, darling, drink this." Magnus said giving Alec a glass and turned to see Jace. "And you, blondie. It will calm you both."

Both drank all the content. It had a terrible taste but after all, it was a potion. Alec and Jace looked at each other and after a few seconds both blinked and continued the staring. Then, both gave a step back, and screamed in horror.

"Why am I standing right in front of myself?" Alec asked.

"Did you druged us, Magnus?" Jace asked.

"I only changed your bodies."

"Only?" both yelled.

"They' re already understanding at each other" said Izzy, smiling.

Then realization hit Alec. And he opened his eyes with horror.

"You traitor." He said looking at Magnus. "I was defending you!"

"And for that, I love you even more but you can't continue with this stupids fights"

"They are not stupid" Magnus gave him Alec a deeply skeptical look.

"Okay...maybe some of them were stupid."

"You're improving, darling, but still...you stay like that."

"Nooooo! You can't let us like this."

"Watch me."

"There you are. I was calling you." Clary said to Jace while stepping into the room.

"Why didn't you respond, babe?" And then, she jumped and kissed Jace. Except, he was not Jace and Alec froze at the feeling of the girl's lips but immediately stepped back and put his arms in front of him.

"Don't!"

"Why?"

"Because it's not me" Jace said.

"What?"

"They switched bodies." Magnus explained.

"Oh my burrito" said Clary while glancing at Jace and Alec.


	2. Consequences

"Another." Jace said as he raised his empty glass of whisky.

The bartender nodded and gave him another drink.

"Why is my life like this? Stupid parabatai. Stupid parabatai's boyfriend." Jace mumbled.

"What are you complaining about, beautiful?" a werewolf boy asked while he approached.

"I...just have problems. Now if you don't mind." He gestured to his back. But the stranger took a sit next to him. After a few minutes Jace said he was not gay.

"Yeah, pretty eyes, I've seen you with Magnus Bane." Jace realized he was caught.

"I was trying to be polite. But since you know that, you should stop flirting with a boy who has boyfriend."

"He doesn't need to know. I won't tell anybody." the boy said and slipped a hand in Jace's back pocket. Then Jace got angry.

"What are you doing?"

"Don't say you don't want me." And the guy came closer to Jace and he punched him in the nose.

"Stay away." The boy left him alone and two hours later Jace found himself grinning like an idiot because of the alcohol.

Alec knew Jace was going to get drunk and he knew where to find him because he didn't like the idea of HIS body getting drunk.

Then he saw Jace talking to a girl, and in that moment, she kissed him. Alec suppressed a exclamation. Immediately Jace grabbed her by her shoulders and pushed her slightly. Alec didn't regret the joke he made to Simon.

In fact, he decided he was going to take advantage. But in the meantime, he had to save his stupid parabatai who was in a fight with the girl's friend.

 

 

"Who's gonna be the first to tell me about your last day?" Jace and Alec stayed quiet and looking at the floor.

"Okay, Jace, you go first."

"You're just covering your boyfriend."

"I only gave you the word because you have my boyfriend's body. And I love seeing his lips moving while he's talking." Alec blushed.

"So that's how I'd look like if I'd blushed"

"Shut up, Jace."

"You were saying..."

"Um, well, you see I kind of hit someone."

"Care to explain?"

"One guy tried to flirt with me. I told him to go away but he was drunk and I ended giving him a punch."

"Who tried to flirt with Alexander?"

"That's not important. The thing is Alec is banned from the bar because I got drunk and I got in a fight and also I think...the guy's friend kissed me."

"By the Tomato, so many years avoiding to kiss girls and Jace destroyed everything in one day." Magnus chuckled.

"Your turn, Alec."

"So Clary told me Jace wanted to be alone so I knew where he was going to be. I went to the bar and I saw him fighting and being kicked out of the bar."

"Why aren't you angry at him?" Alec opened his mouth but closed it again.

"Um...I saw Simon and I thought it would be funny to play prank to him." Alec said, smirking.

"What did you do, Alec?"

"I...invited him to go for a drink. We went to the bar and I told him...well more like Jace told him that he thought he was handsome."

"WHAT!" Magnus tried to hide his smile.

"How could you do that?"Jace asked, sounded betrayed.

"I knew you were going to get drunk in my body. I don't like my body drunk. And you don't like saying compliments to Simon...well, nobody likes that, except Izzy."

"Something else happened?"

"No." the two boys said. Magnus gave them a incredulous glare.

"Now you go first, Alec." Magnus ordered.

"I left Jace at the Institute because I was angry. I thought that he deserved to be drunk too. I went to Taki's and I started with beer but suddenly I was surrounding by faeries. I realized they were smiling because I looked like Jace and I thought it will be great if I get drugged up."

"You certainly are smart, dude."

"It's your body, not mine."

"But it was your dignity."

"Again, the faerie was seeing your face and she told me the pill was just for me to have fun, and they can't lie."

"What did you do then?"

"We went to Pandemonium and we danced and scream and I'm pretty sure you ended dancing on a table."

"Are you serious? You danced? In public!"

"Your body." Alec said, crossing his arms.

"What happened after?"

"I found him." Magnus answered

"A friend called me and told me I had to see a very eager shadowhunter dancing."

 

 

Magnus couldn't believe he had to go to Pandemonium because of a crazy shadowhunter. He had more important things to do...like find his missing boyfriend. But after all, he was the High Warlock and people could think they were in danger with a drunk shadowhunter with weapons. Little did Magnus know his boyfriend was the crazy shadowhunter.

"Magnus!" Alec yelled and instantly the shadowhunter was hugging him.

"Hi, darling. What are you doing?"

"Dancing."

"Alone?"

"No, but now you are here and I can leave them. I rather go to your loft." Magnus took him to the loft while Alec kept mumbling.

Magnus knew he wouldn't get coherent answers, so he didn't ask anything. When they arrived Alec collapsed on the couch and Magnus gave him a glass of water.

"You're the best boyfriend ever."

"Thank you, sweet pea." Magnus said, smiling.

"Not that I know...I mean, you are my first boyfriend but you're amazing. You know I love you, right?"

"I know. And I love you too."

"You are so beautiful." Before Magnus could answer, Alec grabed Magnus by the belt loops and threw him in the couch, then he tried to kiss Magnus but the latter turned around. Alec made a pout.

"I want to kiss you but you have your parabatai's face."

"Oh, Sweet Meatball. That's weird."

"Yeah, and I think we shouldn't do that."

"I guess. But what are we going to do?"

"We should sleep."

Alec was not having that.

 

 

"And I'm not going to tell you anything else but he took a sip of one of my drinks and he went crazy again. If you go to my place, the neighbours might know already how you look in boxers."

"Ho...how?"

"He said that faerie drugs have get you naked once and that another time won't affect anybody. But I stopped him."

"Thank the Beans."

"Now you know you have to switch us back."

"I agree." Alec said.

"No. You stay like this until you two resolve your problems. I realized you are worse than I thought."

"But..."

"Bye, shadowhunters."

And he left the two boys glaring at each other with anger.


	3. Forgiven

"Since both of them were already drunk or drugged up, could you give them I don't know...something that would make them friends again? Don't you have something like that?" Isabelle asked.

"I'm afraid this has to be done in the mundane way."

"Everything started with a mundane method, am I right?"

"Yeah, they don't have my magic and do that in the old fashioned way. They just pretend to be the other person. But now I don't know if this is going to work."

"So, what do we do?"

"What if we locked them up in a room until they are friends again?" Simon suggest.

"Don't you think you are taking revenge?" Izzy asked, smirking.

"Of course not."

"Come on, it was funny." Clary said.

"He scared the chicken out of me. Jace telling me I was...no, no way. They need to be under control."

Everyone laughed.

"Okay, we do what you said, Simon."

 

 

"Let us go." shouted Jace.

"You can go if you stop fighting."

"For bacon's sake. We're stuck in here forever." Alec complained.

"I'm not going to talk to you." Jace said pointing at Alec.

"You're talking to me right now."

"From this moment, I'm not going to talk to him." He shouted to the others. "So you can keep us here forever."

"As you wish." Magnus promised.

Jace stopped hitting the door and sat down in the floor in front of Alec. Alec opened his eyes to see what caused the noise. But he only saw Jace sitting and he closed his eyes again.

Two hours later, Magnus sent them food. Both of them ate in silence. What they didn't know was that the food had some magic dust that made to the one who ate it to tell the truth.

 

"Don't you think this tastes a little weird?" Alec asked.

"I said I wasn't going to talk to you." Jace said. "But I missed you.

Alec and Jace looked surprised by the last sentence.

"What?" Alec blinked his eyes and said "I miss you too, it's difficult to fight and fight over and over again with your brother."

Jace felt surprised but then smiled.

"I... Yeah, that's difficult. I think we've cross the line."

"Jace, I want to stop it.

"Me too, we've been fighting for stupid stuff."

"Like that time when I got mad at you because of you listening music very loud from the band Clary showed you"

"Yeah, I thought you were crazy.

They're really good. Or the time I went crazy when you left me alone in the Hunter's Moon."

"I arrived just 20 minutes later."

"I told you. Jace Herondale doesn't sit alone for 20 minutes."

"Haha, that time I thought you were a drama queen."

"You were the drama queen when I didn't wash the dishes."

"That was because when you finally washed them, you broke my favorite cup."

"And what about the time you ate the food Clary bought me?"

"So this last time...that was your revenge?"

"No. I was really hungry but I thought about it later and I realized it looked like that."

"You did a good job. We finally overwhelmed our family and they sent us here."

"Didn't see that coming."

"Me neither."

"I guess it was difficult for them too."

"And for Izzy."

"But when we were in battle we forgot everything. That's a point for us."

"Even if I was mad at you, I wouldn't let you die, parabatai."

Jace laughed. "I know that. Even if I am a parabatapickle."

"Even then."

"Even if I say some kind of demon is already extinct and turns out I'm wrong?" Jace asked, smirking.

"Yep, I would save your ass. Not that we've already been there."

"Definitely not."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too. Would you forgive me?"

"Only if you forgive me too."

"I have to tell you something." Jace said suddenly.

"Um, yeah?"

"When you left me at the Institute while I was drunk something happened. I was thirsty and I went to the kitchen for a glass of water and I found Maryse. She realized you were drunk and asked if you were like that because of Magnus."

"By the Tomato, what did you tell her?"

"I said yes because I thought she was talking about the switching bodies stuff. Then I corrected myself and told her that was because Magnus left you with Jace and Jace is crazy...so we got drunk."

"That's better than I' ve had thought." Alec said, nodding.

"I also thanked her for accepting and loving her gay son and her demonic son...you know for Valentine's games."

Alec covered his face with both hands and exhaled.

"I have to tell you something too."

"You have to be kidding me. There is more?"

"Another girl kissed me and I told her I was gay. She didn't believed me because of your body so I told her we would meet another time. That calmed her so I gave her your number. You should remedy that, you don't want Clary finding out that."

Jace threw himself at the floor.

"You have something to add?" He asked without getting up.

"No. That's all. What about you?"

"I'm done."

"Now that everything is out in the open, can we continue with the forgiving part?"

"Yeah, that's what we have to do."

"I'm sorry for everything. I don't want this to happen again."

"You mean the fights or the switch body thing?"

"Both."

"Agree. I'm sorry too and I promise I won't go crazy for stupid stuff."

"Me too. And if we do fight we forgive each other quickly. Deal?"

"Deal, buddy. Come here."

Jace and Alec hugged each other and smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was weird but what can I say? No regrets :)


End file.
